It started in nineteen sixty-five

A vibrant young company full of vigour and drive.

In the beginning was the Hollow,

Proved a hard act to follow – well three acts actually. Well it said so contractually.

A whodunit mystery

By Agatha Christie

And we continued that grisly theme

With our thespian team

On a similar basis most efficacious

 

There was Murder at Midnight and Murder in Play

Speaking of Murder – gruesome I’d say

A portrait of Murder - A Murder’s announced

Wait until Dark then the murderer pounced

Out of Sight Out Of Murder - A Time to Kill

Murder for the Asking, – a cyanide pill

There were victims a plenty in Sweeney Todd

And in Jack the Ripper we weren’t short of a bod (or two)

Not in Proscenophobia, to you that’s stage fright

I’m sure someone died in Woman in White

A stabbing in 39 Steps, just the one

A shooting in House Guest just for fun

And Lord Arthur Saville’s crimes numbered … well none.

But not for want of trying, or dying …. Or lying

But it’s not all been murder and mayhem and death.

There’ve been plenty of others shows – pause for breath.

A Hundred in reality – well Here goes ….

Let’s start with Three’s Company, Day after the Fair,

Bon Adventure, Dear Brutus, and Sailor Beware.

Boeing Boeing, Hedda Gabbler, All Together Now

The Enquiry. Miss Letitia

The Real Inspector Hound

Alfie. Confusions, The Skin of Our Teeth,

When We Are Married, No Time for Fig leaves

Don’t start Without Me along The Paper Chain

The Railway children on board the Ghost Train.

Came down a Blackbird and I’ll get My Man

A Letter to the General, Lilies on the Land

There were musicals, Oliver

Oh What A Lovely War

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the For- um

From Happy As A Sandbag with its World war 2 songs 

To the Wizard of Oz and Dorothy we gently hummed along

I Am a Camera spawned Cabaret

A sinister MC conducting the way

Underneath the Arches, Bud and Ches sang

A wonderful story of the Crazy Gang

A Christmas Carol had songs and a rap

And a musical cartoon about Andy Capp … 

We staged 3 Christmas Carols,

Dick Whittington’s two

And a play about Ladies with hair colour blue

A pair of Aladdin’s, I’m happy to say

A couple of Tangos down Grimley Way.

We’ve reprised Cinderella a couple of times

Would have been more but we ran out rhymes

Oh yes we did …..

We staged two Blithe spirts I though you should know

And returned several times to Allo Allo…Allo

All of our shows are The talk of Our Town

Including A Woman in a Dressing Gown

Tom’s Midnight Garden was full activity

With Treasure Island and the Flint street Nativity.

Spring and Port Wine with no hint of lager,

Cat on the Fiddle, Match girls, Fosdyke Saga.

The Killing of Sister George caused a stir

Carry on camping with her, her and her

Habeas Corpus with its difficult text,

Run for Your Wife On Monday next

There were Visiting Hours at Ferndale’s haunted house

Wind In the Willows with Mole, Badger and Mouse … well Rat actually but it wouldn’t rhyme.

We went dancing at Lughnasa, five Irish maids

Housekeeper Wanted full of charades

Book Of the month and Rape of the Belt

The Birthday Party wishes heartfelt

Bell Book and Candle and Red Riding Hood

In Moon Over Buffalo the acting was good

In Edge of Darkness they often spoke russian

The villain’s young daughter suffered concussion

The Heiress, the Purging, the Playathon too

That’s 94 down leaving just 22.

So here goes

Three Hisses for Villainy

Another Farndale Mystery

Chekhov’s Chalk Garden a classic play from history

Trial and Error, The Mummer’s Play,

The Camel’s Back, didn’t know he’d been away

A Brief Encounter with Noel Coward was a great review penned by Howard

It featured a score by Rachmaninov

A Pack of Lies, Daisy Pulls It Off

Crimes of Passion, rather nice

Strictly Sex factor on Ice

Home and Beauty, Coffee Break

Three Plays in search of an Audience – big mistake

For Pardon me Prime Minster we sold a lot of tickets

Twelfth man was set up north in a county playing cricket

Algernon left London went up-country shooting grouse

And No one shouted is there A Doctor in the House

Fifty years ago today we had no cyclorama,

It might have helped when we staged an evening of coarse drama.

Well that’s your lot of  Hyde Heath Drama’s story

We came we saw we conquered … went down in blazing glory.

But listen when we stage a play we strive for true conviction

But really when we all look back … it’s just Improbably Fiction.

 

                                                                                                             By Howard Elson